Prunella Scales and Timothy West: 60-Year Love Endures Despite Dementia Challenges

Framed on the walls are notable appearances on Radio Times covers, with Fawlty Towers representing her and a portrayal of Winston Churchill in a TV film for him. Awards for audiobook narration of the year also grace the space, with the unabridged version of EF Benson’s class-struggle classic “Lucia’s Progress” shining in 1993.

On a shelf, a guide to Britain’s canal networks stands prominently, providing a substantial hint about the occupants of this house.

For over half a century, nestled on the north side of London’s Wandsworth Common, this residence has served as the familial abode for two of Britain’s most recognisable figures in the world of acting.

Scales will forever be synonymous with the commanding and enduringly patient character Sybil Fawlty from Fawlty Towers, her presence encapsulated by a single emphatic utterance of “Basil.”

West is esteemed as one of the preeminent stage actors of his generation, having undertaken the role of King Lear four times across four different decades.

Together, in the past decade, they achieved an unexpected success with Channel 4’s “Great Canal Journeys.”

“We didn’t anticipate it being particularly riveting for viewers,” confesses West, settling beside his wife on a sofa in their front room during an interview with BBC Breakfast.

Yet, for ten series, they made canals utterly captivating. “We had a knack for it,” he grins.

Dazzling Individuals

Surrounding their residence are helium balloons gently losing their buoyancy, a mix of cards and flowers from well-wishers, teetering on the brink of wilting.

These remnants mark the aftermath of their recent 60th wedding anniversary, an extraordinary achievement that typically warrants a royal congratulations telegram for any couple reaching such a milestone. Unfortunately, in their case, none arrived. “Well, he’s quite new, isn’t he?” jests West. “He’ll remember next time, I’m sure.”

The couple opted not for a grand celebration. Instead, friends and family dropped by to offer their greetings. However, a significant aspect of their festivities involved the launch of a book authored by West, titled “Pru & Me: A Love Story,” reflecting on their six decades of matrimony.

Attaining a diamond anniversary is a rarity in the world of showbiz. Nicolas Cage, Drew Barrymore, and Eddie Murphy all experienced marriages that didn’t last 60 days, let alone 60 years. Britney Spears had a union that didn’t endure for 60 hours.

“I have a penchant for putting things on paper when they hold significance, and this certainly did,” West explains. “We’ve come to realise the immense joy, excitement, and pleasure we’ve shared. And that’s worth documenting.”

The book primarily delves into the lighter aspects of life, yet it does not shy away from addressing the vascular dementia that has affected Scales for over two decades—more than a third of their married life.

“People are aware of it, so you can’t really overlook it,” says West, tightly holding his wife’s hand.

“It’s something we always bear in mind. It’s just a constant consideration. People understand and are very supportive and sympathetic about it.

“We’ve managed to cope with it, and Pru doesn’t dwell on it much.”

“What about?” Scales interjects.

“Well, there you are,” says West, gesturing towards his wife.

“What am I not thinking about?” Scales asks again.

“Dementia,” he explains.

“Dementia?” she queries, letting out a sigh, seemingly expressing some indignation.

“You’re not troubled by it?” West gently asks.

“Well, I think elderly people get it anyway, don’t they?” Scales responds.

“Some do,” West muses softly, then turns back, locking eyes with me and emphatically stating, “We manage.”

The initial indications

It was as far back as 2001 when West initially observed that something wasn’t quite right with his wife. He had attended the opening night of a play in Greenwich, where everything had unfolded smoothly.

Upon his return later in the run, he reflected, “I thought, ‘Pru’s a bit strange. Not totally with it.’ It wouldn’t have bothered any ordinary member of the audience, but I knew that she had just not quite been on top of it.”

It took more than a decade, until 2014, for an official diagnosis of vascular dementia. West vividly recalls every word spoken during that pivotal appointment: “We went to see a specialist who said, ‘Sorry, this is just something that happens to you when you are older, and it’s not going to get any easier, but you can cope with it. Don’t let it get you down.'”

They both heeded this advice, quite literally. That year, they embarked on what would evolve into 10 series of “Great Canal Journeys.” A significant element contributing to the show’s popularity was their candidness about Scales’s health.

In 2016, The Guardian’s Stuart Heritage described it as “a work about a devoted couple facing something huge together.”

“Every episode tends to reveal a glimpse of what Prunella finds herself up against,” he wrote. “She’ll make a small mistake or forget the name of a place or get caught on camera looking slightly lost and uncertain, and West will carefully guide her back to his side.”

I inquire about the coping strategies they’ve implemented since the dementia diagnosis.

West emphasises the significance of their shared activities, citing visits to the theatre and galleries as personal favourites.

“We’re mindful of how our mutual support enables us to carry on with our lives,” he elaborates, acknowledging his role as his wife’s primary carer while also recognizing his reliance on her.

Scales articulates the enduring charm that initially drew her to West when they first met in 1961 during the production of a “terrible play” for the BBC titled She Died Young.

“He has a way with words. Wonderful letters,” she praises. “That was one of the things that fascinated me about him initially—funny and interesting.”

West adds, “We both enjoyed corresponding. Sometimes, it was two or three times a day.”

“Three times a day!” I exclaim, highlighting my own romantic correspondence shortcomings.

Crucially, their relationship’s essence remains unchanged since the dementia diagnosis.

“I don’t believe it has altered at all,” asserts West confidently.

“No. No. No,” interjects Scales in agreement. “I’ve come to understand him better and better.”

After a moment of reflection, West adds, “I acknowledge that things might change a bit, but considering the time that has passed, we’ve managed quite well. ‘Oh no’ is not a thought that crosses our minds.”

Without missing a beat, Scales concurs, “Never. Not once. I’ve been invited to spend the rest of my life with someone I hold in high regard, whom I admire, and with whom I happily engage in disagreements about many things.”

They exchange smiles, and at this point, I may have had a speck of dust behind my contact lens.

All that remains is to extend heartfelt congratulations on their anniversary and inquire about the sentiments surrounding six decades of marital bliss.

“How does it feel for you?” inquires West, turning to his wife.

Scales responds, “What am I supposed to say?”

After a moment of contemplation, she leans towards her husband, pauses, says, “Thank you,” and plants a kiss on his cheek.

“Well, thank you,” West replies, visibly delighted.

“Thanking for sticking with me for so long,” Scales continues.

“Well, we’ve done all right,” West concludes.

“It hasn’t really been hard work, has it?” he asks.

“No!” enthuses Scales. “He’s a person I like, I love, I enjoy being with.”

Following a brief silence, West encapsulates 60 years of matrimony, acknowledging her statement with a simple, “That’s about it, I think.”

As the interview concludes, the cameraman approaches Scales, requesting to remove the clip microphone.

“Oh good,” she exclaims, a twinkle appearing in her eye.

“Now I can say…”

And out of her mouth comes a four-letter word entirely unsuitable for broadcast on BBC Breakfast.

Laughter erupts as we witness a household determined not to be overshadowed by dementia.

“Pru and Me: The Amazing Marriage of Prunella Scales and Timothy West,” published by Puffin, is out now.